I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
