Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
