Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
time to smoke my breakfast
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
