Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
His hands were made for my vagina.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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