And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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