we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
