i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
