I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
