I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
