you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You ruined the universe
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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