To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
