operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
