just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
