there was a trapeze. enough said
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
