How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
