I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I've blown a few things in my day
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize