oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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