I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
