A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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