Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
