Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
