I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
