I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
