Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize