i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
