i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I currently don't understand fingers.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
