there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
