why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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