All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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