just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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