Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
