porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
