We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
