a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
