She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
