i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
