She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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