bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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