We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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