What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Randomize
