my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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