Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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