He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
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