i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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