so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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