Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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