It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
