Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
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