I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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