Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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