Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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