She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize