My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
The uberlube is also flammable
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
