with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
