You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Walk of Shame today included voting.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
