Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
