I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
