It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Let's paint friendship bongs
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
