Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
