U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
