It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
