Do you still have your period?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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