I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
