I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
