You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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