I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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