Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
