Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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